Sunday, August 1, 2010

Hello "Jersey Chic" R.I.P Fashion

Words that don't belong in the same sentence as Jersey: Style, Chic, Couture, Tasteful, Attractive
Ever since the inexplicable popularity of shows like Jersey Shore and Real Housewives of New Jersey there has been a scary shift in fashion trends spawning new Jersey themed shows promoting the Jersey look (i.e. Jerseylicious, Jersey Couture)
Unless it's Halloween and I'm doing so in parody/jest I would not be caught dead dressing myself like the fools and tools on Jersey Shore.
In previous blogs I've mentioned the horrors of chunky highlights and bumpit hair. Combine that with bad weaves, orange tans, hair grease, miniskirts, giant hoops, ed hardy and an overdose of animal print and you've got the douchiest fashion trainwreck of all time.

Honestly... if you're looking at these women and you are even remotely aroused there's something wrong with you. They are orange, their hair is fake and crunchy, and their lips look invisible. I have a real problem with light lipstick/lip color lighter than skin color. It makes everyone who does it look like an emaciated fish prostitute.

Why does anyone look up to these people or find them remotely amusing? Fake boobs, fake tan, fake hair...
I'm surprised Snooki can breathe in that way too tight outfit... and with those fakies almost hitting her in the face. These gweedos they are with look like Tool Academy dropouts with plastic ken doll hair. The one next to Snooki (I don't know their names because I don't watch that garbage) looks like he's deliberately trying to shape his hair like Bart Simpson's. Pretty gross. No self-respecting woman would hit that.

If you have any sense, taste, or personal style whatsoever please avoid this trend like the plague it is.

Over and outta hea!